Dealing with the Insensitive

So what do you do when a family member or someone close to you says something that is insensitive and probably should not have been said especially in front of your children. 

This is a situation that happened with us and our four year old daughter on the weekend.  Our daughter is a very cute child who has some shape to her, however, the family doctor has stated she is exactly where she should be on the the growth chart.  By nature my daughter is a grazer and this has been curbed somewhat by school.  This eating habit doesn't bother my husband or I as long as the choices are healthy.

We had a visitor who commented on the fact that our daughter seemed to eat nonstop and therefore her backside was expanding proportionately.  My husband and I basically ignored the comment and it is something that was difficult for me to do.  I am usually the first person who would screama t this person and ask them what they were thinking. 

We are trying to raise a young lady who has a healthy body image and makes healthy choices, but doesn't feel the need to change her habits because of what one person says.  In hindsight I think the fact we ignored the comment was a good lesson for our daughter and it showed her that you don't always have to acknowledge something you don't agree with, but rather sometimes it is better to just let things go.

Important Conversations

Do you have a time out spot for your children or a place you go hide to get away from it all?  The answer to both is probably yes, but do you and your husband have a place to talk about things that are important to you or require your undivided attention.  My husband and I do!  We will take up a spot on the stairs between the main and bedroom levels in or current home or on the landing in our previous home. 

For us this special place has always worked and usually one issue is dealt with in a sitting.  This is one area of quality time that there are rules both of us abide by.  They are really simple and ultimately are meant to show respect.

1.  Conversations are intitiated by the first person to sit down.
2.  The other person doesn't speak until the current speaker says something to the effect of your turn.

We feel that these sessions really help keep our relationship strong because there is a designated splace to deal with those prickly issues so we don't go to bed angry.

Date Night Part 2

So last week I wrote about the importance of date night and a dinner on the town.  This week I'm going to talk about those inexpensive or free options.  There is a lot of opportunity to connect with your significant other without having to break the bank. 

Believe it or not you probably take 15 minutes out of you day to connect without realizing it.  This is usually the time the two of you spend together in the morning before getting out of bed or those precious few minutes you have after the children are safely tucked in.  I don't consider these to be date night opportunities but they are extremely important to your family.

For us these date nights happen about once every couple of weeks and usually after our daughter goes to bed.  Sometimes we watch a movie together on the couch with all the movie snacks and our gadgets turned off.  Other times it is just coffee on the front porch or doing something that requires both our input on the computer like selecting the pictures for the respective mother's annual calendar. 

During these date nights things are very relaxed and therefore we find it easy to talk about pretty much everything.  It is surprising how quickly the night passes and we've managed to accomplsh something while having a great time together.

Tell me what do you do for date night?

Date Night Part 1

When was the last time you and your other half had a date?  This doesn't have to mean that you went out without your children, but rather just that you've spent some quality time together without your children being the focus of that time.


This can take many forms and my husband and I have tried several of them.  Regardless of whether it is a night without the kids that you blow the bank on or a quiet inexpensive night after the little ones go to bed is up to you.  The goal is to spend time together reconnecting with each other without your children present.

My husband and I recently had a night off while our daughter was with my parents.  We had a guideline of dinner on a patio somewhere with a drink and maybe dessert.  We headed to a wonderful restaurant the other side of the city and were the first couple to be seated on the patio.  Because of the style of the restaurant we had plenty of time to discuss a number of things including future plans without interruptions.  We were there for an hour and a half that was very relaxing and not something our four-year old would have tolerated. This isn't what we do every time our daughter gets a sleepover but it is worth it once in awhile.

In some recent discussions there has been mention of restaurants banning children and after this dinner I don't mind if higher end restaurants are child free.

BTW Dinner was fantastic, the staff very friendly and worth the visit to Mein Streeet.

Father Daughter Time

Once a month my father and I get together for a lunch date.  My dad and I started this monthly appointment after my parents moved to London.  In some was it was meant as a way to replace the lunches my dad used to have with friends before they moved.

I am usually responsible for finding the restaurant and any coupons while the two of us trade off paying the bill. We find this a great time to get away and talk about a multitude of topics.  I find my dad is more than willing to talk about something that is important to him.  It could be almost anything, but I try not to judge or make suggestions that what he's talking about doesn't matter.

These dates aren't all about my dad though.  It is a two way street and I discuss things that are happening in my life that I want him to listen to or want his opinion on. 

If I can make a suggestion it would be try this with someone important to you.  It strengths your relationship emensely.

Melting Moments

We all know that children can surprise us but there are a few moments that are absolute melt moments.  My daughter is adopted and doesn't necessarily look like either one of us.  She has the same bolour eyes as my dad and her strawberry blonde hair apparently like mine when I was younger.  One day I was colouring my hair and my daughter was watching closely.  When I was finished she looked at me and said "I want to colour my hair and eyes!|  When I asked her why she said "I want to look just like Mommy!"  As soon as she said this I gave her a huge hug and then had to explain why she was beautiful just as she was. 

Another big melt for me dealt with the whole innocence of childhood.  My parents have an adorable little dog that my daughter claims is hers.  On Victoria Day weekend while my parents were away another dog attacked their dog leaving a couple large gashes.  After my parents came home they visited and asked my daughter if she saw where the dog got hurt.  I gently told my parents that she had not been told what happened even though it was 10 days earlier.  After the adults in the room explained what happened my daughter went to the fridge to get her boo boo dog to put on the cuts.  She then said to my mom that the mean dog's mommy should make the mean dog say sorry to their dog so they can be friend.

Pet Names/Nick Names Part II

So to continue on with last week's post.  This time I'm going to talk about the male side of nicknames in my experience.

Almost 14 years ago I met a guy who I eventually married.  One thing I found cute about this person was that he'd often refer to his feelings by colour.  It took me a while to figure out, but eventually I learned that beige meant okay.  I was so taken with this and several of his other cuteness points that I started calling him Smurf.  He's never regally objected, but if he thinks he's done something worthy of being called Smurf, he'll remind me.  Of course my observations are based on the original Smurfs from when I was a preteen not the new ones that my daughter is getting introduced to. 

Again my husband, like my dad doesn't have a pet name for me.  We've tried several over the passed several years but nothing seems to fit. 

As for my little girl I do have a nickname for her and so does my husband.  My nickname for her is based on her first name and the start of her middle name while my husbands has to do with the fact she is Daddy's Princess.  She seems to like them, but time will tell and I suspect they will change as she gets older.