Memories

We all have important stuff from our childhood and even though I try to keep clutter to a minimum I have some including my baby book.  This doesn't mean that I'll keep every craft my daughter makes or every card she receives by rather some key important things including her hospital bracelets.  Several of these items are kept in a beautiful wooden box my husband made for my daughter last year.  She keeps the box in her bedroom and often asks to look at the items in it.  The contents in this box all have a story to them, however every so often I clean out the box removing somethings.  In particular what I am looking for items that are going to have meaning in a year, 10 or even 20 years from now. Luckily the important school things will be maintained in a book and will tell it's own story.  For my daughter some of the items we've kept deal with her adoption so they are needed to tell the whole story and luckily we have this information.  It is funny that she has a teddy bear from the hospital where she was born, even though they no longer deliver children, as well as a note from the photographer who took her picture during her first few ours adding her encouragement to our adoption story.  We also have the dress and some jewellery aptly named court clothes because this is what she wore to the court house on the day her adoption was finalized.  I'm not trying raise a pack rat, but rather a person who understands the value of things that can tell a story.

Little Things Add Up

My daughter gets enough candy as it is so I did not see the need for a candy filled Advent Calendar. Last year I purchased the beige and red Advent Cottage at Loblaws that allows me to fill each day  This year we're doing an alternating day mix of books and other stuff which doesn't fit in the little doors.  Instead each morning my daughter opens the requisite door to find a clue then heads off to find the prize that "Santa" left.

That's correct I said Santa.  My four year old firmly believes that Mr. Claus is playing a fun game with her leading up to his big visit on Christmas Eve and I don't feel like dissuading her since she's only going to believe for such a short time.

My only challenge with this project is that my daughter is waking up almost an hour earlier each morning to get the next prize and that means I'm up earlier as well.  This is workable because of her enthusiasm and the fact this is something special we share before my husband wakes up.

And with that I want to wish everyone reading a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Story Time

It is amazing what your child will learn during story time.  We always have some sort of story time with our daughter and both of us do parts of it.  There are four different types of daily story time in our home.  I'll try to explain them here and what they mean to us.

1) Snuggle Time Can be with either Mommy or Daddy.  This is story time where anyone can pick the books, but usually our daughter does and she sits with the reader.  Usually this happens at bedtime with my husband reading or during quiet time after school with me.  Often when bedtime story occurs I will sneak into my daughter's bedroom to listen.  My husband really makes the stories come alive with different voices. Snuggle time with me has been know to happen in the car, at a restuaren or at the Doctor's office while waiting.  Almost everywhere we go we have books with us to helpp make the wait seem shorter.

2) Tell Me A Story These are occasions when my daughter wants to hear about something she has done, usually with one or both of us.  These stories are retold on the fly often in the bathroom and can cover anything form how we became her parents to her most recent class trip where I tagged along.  Early on we tried to use different characters and tell the stories in the third person but I kept changing the names back to Rachel so we don't bother anymore.  Our daughter loves these stories and we probably should write them down, but I doubt that will happen so my daughter will have to rely on her electronic scrapbook as she gets older.

3) I Read To You This story time is the most fun.  My daughter picks a book or books and read them to one of us or her toys.  She may not read the words but she is really familiar with stories so she reads the pictures and is often really close to the written story.  I find it very creative on her part and lots of fun even when I'm eavesdropping on a story being told to the stuffed animals.

4) Private Reading This is when someone in the house can be found reading to themselves.  My husband and I feel it is extremely important that our daughter "catches" us reading with hopes that it will encourage her to do the same.  This seems to be working and often when I go looking for her when she's being very quiet I'll find her in her room reading a book or 12.

The Value of Saying No!

No is one of the hardest words for me to say yet I that it is necessary if I want to keep some degree of control over my life. 

With the Holiday Season fast approaching I've always tried to make sure that we find a way to say yes to all the family, friend and other events that come our way.  That was fine when there were only two of us, but when the holiday season starts on Thanksgiving and ends on January 23 it isn't realistic to say yes to everything for any family.  Instead I'm saying no to some activities based on flexible guidelines my other half has agreed to.  These guidelines are meant to help keep everyone in our house happy, especially the four year old.  The guidelines include things like:

1. No more than one event per day - Our apologies to the London Post Adoption Support Group but we have a family Christmas out of town later the same day.

2. No evening events on school nights unless they are school or current extra-curricular related.

So far this is working and the people I'm saying no to our understanding of the decision.  I feel less stressed as a result.  Based on our history of over-scheduling my husband call home the other day to make sure he read the calendar correctly because a couple weekends in late November had nothing scheduled. 

No is also being used more frequently when it comes to presents and discretionary purchases.  I have a really good friend whom my mom calls the sister I never had and have no issue getting together with her for coffee on a regular basis or exchanging gifts for Christmas and Birthdays.  On the other had I have an acquaintance I only talk to once every few months and our children don't really know each other so I don't feel comfortable doing a gift exchange with her family.


The dilemma of gifts for teachers and service providers recently came up in our house with a lot of confusion.   The lady who started off as my daughter's teacher in September recently left on maternity leave and instead of giving her a gift we did up a special card for her.  The replacement teacher started the beginning of December and we won't be giving her a either but rather a really nice Christmas card.  This is a no that I feel has no lasting effect on anyone in the long term.

Lastly we're selective about the fundraisers we participate in at school.  I have no issue buying my daughter or others books and magazines through the school, but draw the line at buying for the sake of getting stuff just so the school can get a 1% return.  I was torn on this for a short period of time until my husband said if it is something you were already thinking of buying then go ahead, otherwise pass.

In conclusion, saying no isn't the end of the world.  Yes you might have an initial feeling of guilt but that passes fairly quickly.   To paraphrase a friend  you need to do what is right for you and your family at a given time.

Hand Me Downs

I know what your thinking...what do hand me downs have to do with quality time?  Well this little story should shed some light on that issue.

Hand me downs or clothes with a story can really mea a lot to your child.  My daughter has always loved clothes that she has received from certain others and we are trying to instill the concept of charity in her when she outgrowns something that in terms of donating it or passing it on. 

Recentl, however, the importance of clothes with a story really came to life for me.  My mom's sister was married 35 years ago this passed May and I was her flower girl.  I wore a pretty, yet typical, 70s polyester dress that my grandmother made.  My family kept the dress and it moved into my office closet about 2 years ago.  The plan was that my daughter could where it for dressup.

At my parents trailer park they have Halloween in the middle of August making it difficult to get a Halloween costume.  In early July I suggested to my daughter she be a princess and wear the pink dress in the closet.  She wasn't thrilled with the idea until I showed her a picture of me in the dress. From then on we had a mission to transform the dress into one fit for a butterfly princess.  My darling child showed me where she wanted the butterflies and handed me the beads to embelish the sleeves, but wanted nothing to do with the fittings to ensure the train didn't drag on the ground.  I finished the dress a week before the August event and my daught was eager to wear it.  She asked to wear the it to the campground but I exllained she'd probably be more comfortable in shorts and a t-shirt until trick or treating started.  On Saturday she made sure the dress was packed in the car and off we went.  When anyone asked her where she got such a pretty dress she proundly told that it was mine.

The whole event reminded me of myself as a teenager when I used to "borrow" my mom's clothes.  These were good times and I look forward to the day my daughter "borrows" my clothes.

I have my wedding dress packed awaybut don't expected my daughter will wear it.  I am hopeful she'll wear my veil and maybe do something special with the dress, but who knows.  I'm sure my husband doesn't want to tink about her getting married for another 20 years.

As a side note the floweer dress will get one more day of wearing when my Butterfly Princess wears it to school and out trick or treating on the 31st of October.

Dealing with the Insensitive

So what do you do when a family member or someone close to you says something that is insensitive and probably should not have been said especially in front of your children. 

This is a situation that happened with us and our four year old daughter on the weekend.  Our daughter is a very cute child who has some shape to her, however, the family doctor has stated she is exactly where she should be on the the growth chart.  By nature my daughter is a grazer and this has been curbed somewhat by school.  This eating habit doesn't bother my husband or I as long as the choices are healthy.

We had a visitor who commented on the fact that our daughter seemed to eat nonstop and therefore her backside was expanding proportionately.  My husband and I basically ignored the comment and it is something that was difficult for me to do.  I am usually the first person who would screama t this person and ask them what they were thinking. 

We are trying to raise a young lady who has a healthy body image and makes healthy choices, but doesn't feel the need to change her habits because of what one person says.  In hindsight I think the fact we ignored the comment was a good lesson for our daughter and it showed her that you don't always have to acknowledge something you don't agree with, but rather sometimes it is better to just let things go.

Important Conversations

Do you have a time out spot for your children or a place you go hide to get away from it all?  The answer to both is probably yes, but do you and your husband have a place to talk about things that are important to you or require your undivided attention.  My husband and I do!  We will take up a spot on the stairs between the main and bedroom levels in or current home or on the landing in our previous home. 

For us this special place has always worked and usually one issue is dealt with in a sitting.  This is one area of quality time that there are rules both of us abide by.  They are really simple and ultimately are meant to show respect.

1.  Conversations are intitiated by the first person to sit down.
2.  The other person doesn't speak until the current speaker says something to the effect of your turn.

We feel that these sessions really help keep our relationship strong because there is a designated splace to deal with those prickly issues so we don't go to bed angry.

Date Night Part 2

So last week I wrote about the importance of date night and a dinner on the town.  This week I'm going to talk about those inexpensive or free options.  There is a lot of opportunity to connect with your significant other without having to break the bank. 

Believe it or not you probably take 15 minutes out of you day to connect without realizing it.  This is usually the time the two of you spend together in the morning before getting out of bed or those precious few minutes you have after the children are safely tucked in.  I don't consider these to be date night opportunities but they are extremely important to your family.

For us these date nights happen about once every couple of weeks and usually after our daughter goes to bed.  Sometimes we watch a movie together on the couch with all the movie snacks and our gadgets turned off.  Other times it is just coffee on the front porch or doing something that requires both our input on the computer like selecting the pictures for the respective mother's annual calendar. 

During these date nights things are very relaxed and therefore we find it easy to talk about pretty much everything.  It is surprising how quickly the night passes and we've managed to accomplsh something while having a great time together.

Tell me what do you do for date night?

Date Night Part 1

When was the last time you and your other half had a date?  This doesn't have to mean that you went out without your children, but rather just that you've spent some quality time together without your children being the focus of that time.


This can take many forms and my husband and I have tried several of them.  Regardless of whether it is a night without the kids that you blow the bank on or a quiet inexpensive night after the little ones go to bed is up to you.  The goal is to spend time together reconnecting with each other without your children present.

My husband and I recently had a night off while our daughter was with my parents.  We had a guideline of dinner on a patio somewhere with a drink and maybe dessert.  We headed to a wonderful restaurant the other side of the city and were the first couple to be seated on the patio.  Because of the style of the restaurant we had plenty of time to discuss a number of things including future plans without interruptions.  We were there for an hour and a half that was very relaxing and not something our four-year old would have tolerated. This isn't what we do every time our daughter gets a sleepover but it is worth it once in awhile.

In some recent discussions there has been mention of restaurants banning children and after this dinner I don't mind if higher end restaurants are child free.

BTW Dinner was fantastic, the staff very friendly and worth the visit to Mein Streeet.

Father Daughter Time

Once a month my father and I get together for a lunch date.  My dad and I started this monthly appointment after my parents moved to London.  In some was it was meant as a way to replace the lunches my dad used to have with friends before they moved.

I am usually responsible for finding the restaurant and any coupons while the two of us trade off paying the bill. We find this a great time to get away and talk about a multitude of topics.  I find my dad is more than willing to talk about something that is important to him.  It could be almost anything, but I try not to judge or make suggestions that what he's talking about doesn't matter.

These dates aren't all about my dad though.  It is a two way street and I discuss things that are happening in my life that I want him to listen to or want his opinion on. 

If I can make a suggestion it would be try this with someone important to you.  It strengths your relationship emensely.

Melting Moments

We all know that children can surprise us but there are a few moments that are absolute melt moments.  My daughter is adopted and doesn't necessarily look like either one of us.  She has the same bolour eyes as my dad and her strawberry blonde hair apparently like mine when I was younger.  One day I was colouring my hair and my daughter was watching closely.  When I was finished she looked at me and said "I want to colour my hair and eyes!|  When I asked her why she said "I want to look just like Mommy!"  As soon as she said this I gave her a huge hug and then had to explain why she was beautiful just as she was. 

Another big melt for me dealt with the whole innocence of childhood.  My parents have an adorable little dog that my daughter claims is hers.  On Victoria Day weekend while my parents were away another dog attacked their dog leaving a couple large gashes.  After my parents came home they visited and asked my daughter if she saw where the dog got hurt.  I gently told my parents that she had not been told what happened even though it was 10 days earlier.  After the adults in the room explained what happened my daughter went to the fridge to get her boo boo dog to put on the cuts.  She then said to my mom that the mean dog's mommy should make the mean dog say sorry to their dog so they can be friend.

Pet Names/Nick Names Part II

So to continue on with last week's post.  This time I'm going to talk about the male side of nicknames in my experience.

Almost 14 years ago I met a guy who I eventually married.  One thing I found cute about this person was that he'd often refer to his feelings by colour.  It took me a while to figure out, but eventually I learned that beige meant okay.  I was so taken with this and several of his other cuteness points that I started calling him Smurf.  He's never regally objected, but if he thinks he's done something worthy of being called Smurf, he'll remind me.  Of course my observations are based on the original Smurfs from when I was a preteen not the new ones that my daughter is getting introduced to. 

Again my husband, like my dad doesn't have a pet name for me.  We've tried several over the passed several years but nothing seems to fit. 

As for my little girl I do have a nickname for her and so does my husband.  My nickname for her is based on her first name and the start of her middle name while my husbands has to do with the fact she is Daddy's Princess.  She seems to like them, but time will tell and I suspect they will change as she gets older.

Pet Names/Nick Names

As I mentioned in my introductory post the name MomMom is from my daughter. She uses it when she is trying to be extra loving or trying to work something out using four year old logic.  I don't know where she cam up with it, but I hope it will stick for while yet.

I find it interesting that my daughter has a special name for me and I have a special name for my mom. The origins of my mom's nickname of MiniMom has to do with the fact that she is shorter than I am and I was a typical teenager.  One day when the two of us were in the kitchen and I saw MINIMUM on the stove when I went to give my mom a hug.  I tried out my new version of MiniMom and it stuck to the point I still use it today.

Until I went away to school I only used MiniMom with family, definitely not in public.   I remember a friend of mine at school questioning me about it after my parents when home one weekend.  I explained it was my pet name for her and have used it for a number of years.  Of course the next time I talked to my mom I asked her when I had used it, but she couldn't recall.  She told me not to worry about it as it was just another way of saying I love you.  It was kind of fun though because after that my friends started calling her MiniMom instead of Lee-Ann's Mom.

These name seem to be a two way street.  MiniMom has called me Skees as long as I can remember.  I have started to incorporate this into my online identities. I've tried a few nicknames on for my daughter and  there is one that is a combination of her first name plus middle name that appears to be working for now.

Look for part two of this post in two weeks when I share the male side of nicknames in my family.

What Is MomMom's Daily 15?

Hi Everyone!  My name is Lee-Ann and I am a stay at home mother of a beautiful little girl.  I am married and like most children my daughter has my husband wrapped around her little finger. 

MomMom's Daily 15 is a weekly blog about those quality moments you spend each day doing something special (even though minor) with those that mean the most to you. There will be suggestions for connecting with your children, significant other, family and friends. We're always hearing that it isn't the amount of time you spend doing special activities with these people but rather the quality of that time. I take this to mean that you need to be really engaged in connecting with the person you are spending the time with. Some of the things I write about will be a mere 5 minutes in length, while others could cover more than one day.  So come join me as I take this journey and add some side notes along the way.

The name MomMom is what my 4 year old daughter calls me when we are doing something special. I find it really cute and decided to use it in my blog title to honour her creativity.  More about this in an upcoming post on pet names.