Memories

We all have important stuff from our childhood and even though I try to keep clutter to a minimum I have some including my baby book.  This doesn't mean that I'll keep every craft my daughter makes or every card she receives by rather some key important things including her hospital bracelets.  Several of these items are kept in a beautiful wooden box my husband made for my daughter last year.  She keeps the box in her bedroom and often asks to look at the items in it.  The contents in this box all have a story to them, however every so often I clean out the box removing somethings.  In particular what I am looking for items that are going to have meaning in a year, 10 or even 20 years from now. Luckily the important school things will be maintained in a book and will tell it's own story.  For my daughter some of the items we've kept deal with her adoption so they are needed to tell the whole story and luckily we have this information.  It is funny that she has a teddy bear from the hospital where she was born, even though they no longer deliver children, as well as a note from the photographer who took her picture during her first few ours adding her encouragement to our adoption story.  We also have the dress and some jewellery aptly named court clothes because this is what she wore to the court house on the day her adoption was finalized.  I'm not trying raise a pack rat, but rather a person who understands the value of things that can tell a story.

Little Things Add Up

My daughter gets enough candy as it is so I did not see the need for a candy filled Advent Calendar. Last year I purchased the beige and red Advent Cottage at Loblaws that allows me to fill each day  This year we're doing an alternating day mix of books and other stuff which doesn't fit in the little doors.  Instead each morning my daughter opens the requisite door to find a clue then heads off to find the prize that "Santa" left.

That's correct I said Santa.  My four year old firmly believes that Mr. Claus is playing a fun game with her leading up to his big visit on Christmas Eve and I don't feel like dissuading her since she's only going to believe for such a short time.

My only challenge with this project is that my daughter is waking up almost an hour earlier each morning to get the next prize and that means I'm up earlier as well.  This is workable because of her enthusiasm and the fact this is something special we share before my husband wakes up.

And with that I want to wish everyone reading a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Story Time

It is amazing what your child will learn during story time.  We always have some sort of story time with our daughter and both of us do parts of it.  There are four different types of daily story time in our home.  I'll try to explain them here and what they mean to us.

1) Snuggle Time Can be with either Mommy or Daddy.  This is story time where anyone can pick the books, but usually our daughter does and she sits with the reader.  Usually this happens at bedtime with my husband reading or during quiet time after school with me.  Often when bedtime story occurs I will sneak into my daughter's bedroom to listen.  My husband really makes the stories come alive with different voices. Snuggle time with me has been know to happen in the car, at a restuaren or at the Doctor's office while waiting.  Almost everywhere we go we have books with us to helpp make the wait seem shorter.

2) Tell Me A Story These are occasions when my daughter wants to hear about something she has done, usually with one or both of us.  These stories are retold on the fly often in the bathroom and can cover anything form how we became her parents to her most recent class trip where I tagged along.  Early on we tried to use different characters and tell the stories in the third person but I kept changing the names back to Rachel so we don't bother anymore.  Our daughter loves these stories and we probably should write them down, but I doubt that will happen so my daughter will have to rely on her electronic scrapbook as she gets older.

3) I Read To You This story time is the most fun.  My daughter picks a book or books and read them to one of us or her toys.  She may not read the words but she is really familiar with stories so she reads the pictures and is often really close to the written story.  I find it very creative on her part and lots of fun even when I'm eavesdropping on a story being told to the stuffed animals.

4) Private Reading This is when someone in the house can be found reading to themselves.  My husband and I feel it is extremely important that our daughter "catches" us reading with hopes that it will encourage her to do the same.  This seems to be working and often when I go looking for her when she's being very quiet I'll find her in her room reading a book or 12.

The Value of Saying No!

No is one of the hardest words for me to say yet I that it is necessary if I want to keep some degree of control over my life. 

With the Holiday Season fast approaching I've always tried to make sure that we find a way to say yes to all the family, friend and other events that come our way.  That was fine when there were only two of us, but when the holiday season starts on Thanksgiving and ends on January 23 it isn't realistic to say yes to everything for any family.  Instead I'm saying no to some activities based on flexible guidelines my other half has agreed to.  These guidelines are meant to help keep everyone in our house happy, especially the four year old.  The guidelines include things like:

1. No more than one event per day - Our apologies to the London Post Adoption Support Group but we have a family Christmas out of town later the same day.

2. No evening events on school nights unless they are school or current extra-curricular related.

So far this is working and the people I'm saying no to our understanding of the decision.  I feel less stressed as a result.  Based on our history of over-scheduling my husband call home the other day to make sure he read the calendar correctly because a couple weekends in late November had nothing scheduled. 

No is also being used more frequently when it comes to presents and discretionary purchases.  I have a really good friend whom my mom calls the sister I never had and have no issue getting together with her for coffee on a regular basis or exchanging gifts for Christmas and Birthdays.  On the other had I have an acquaintance I only talk to once every few months and our children don't really know each other so I don't feel comfortable doing a gift exchange with her family.


The dilemma of gifts for teachers and service providers recently came up in our house with a lot of confusion.   The lady who started off as my daughter's teacher in September recently left on maternity leave and instead of giving her a gift we did up a special card for her.  The replacement teacher started the beginning of December and we won't be giving her a either but rather a really nice Christmas card.  This is a no that I feel has no lasting effect on anyone in the long term.

Lastly we're selective about the fundraisers we participate in at school.  I have no issue buying my daughter or others books and magazines through the school, but draw the line at buying for the sake of getting stuff just so the school can get a 1% return.  I was torn on this for a short period of time until my husband said if it is something you were already thinking of buying then go ahead, otherwise pass.

In conclusion, saying no isn't the end of the world.  Yes you might have an initial feeling of guilt but that passes fairly quickly.   To paraphrase a friend  you need to do what is right for you and your family at a given time.